


Dukes of D.C. or No Take Backsies

by Blue_Mirror



Category: Time Squad
Genre: Gen, Remake, Retcon, Screenplay/Script Format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-11
Updated: 2014-03-11
Packaged: 2018-01-15 08:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1298860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Mirror/pseuds/Blue_Mirror
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Orphan Substitute re-made and turned into something completely different! After a fight, Otto leaves Tuddrussel and Larry in 2002 while on a mission to help George W. Bush. Otto gets kidnapped by Sister Thornly and hauled back to the Orphanage, but no one seems to notice as Tuddrussel and George "Dubbya" run wild in the General Lee and terrorize "Boss" Cheney.<br/>Panty raids,  70's TV references, nuns with guns, and some hints of gay maybe involved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ACT 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I've always wanted to tell a different ending to Time Squad, and knowing that a lot of people don't particularly like this episode, for various reasons...and myself included I always hated how this ended up being the last episode of the show when it wasn't supposed to. I hated that Tuddrussel fails to redeem himself. I wanted Larry to care about Otto more. I wanted Sister Thornly to be an actual threat. I wanted George W. Bush and Tuddrussel to be best pals. So this is my attempt to interpret the source material in a way that I hope does justice to other fans who also feel the same way. 
> 
>  
> 
> Now, to start off with, the beginning and a couple of orphanage scenes are exactly the same as the actual Orphan Substitute episode and were written by their respective authors and I own absolutely nothing of this. but everything else- was written by me and I still do not claim ownership of this copyrighted material.

ACT ONE

FADE IN:  
INT.SATELITTE LIVING ROOM-DAY

TUDDRUSSEL and OTTO are intensely playing a video game. LARRY is sitting behind them, looking at Otto’s old scrapbook from his orphanage days.

OTTO  
My destructo-robot is gonna kick youres butt!

TUDDRUSSEL  
Not if my destructo-robot kicks yourses first!

Larry’s somber expression turns cheerful as he decides to comment on the book’s contents.

LARRY  
(adoring)  
Oh, this orphanage scrapbook of yours is simply delightful!

CUT TO:  
INT. OTTO’S SCRAPBOOK  
The contents of Otto’s book; We take a look at Otto’s first home at the Orphanage.

OTTO (O.S.)  
(bitter)  
Oh, yeah. That.

PANNING RIGHT next picture is of Otto scrubbing toilets.

LARRY (O.S.)  
And here you are scrubbing toilets!

 

CUT TO:   
BACK TO LIVING ROOM- CONTINUOUS

FOCUS ON Otto he is visibly annoyed at Larry, it’s clear that he’s venting out the frustration through the video game.

OTTO  
That was punishment when Sister Thornly found my stack of Presidential Biographies under my mattress. 

Otto with no problem blasts through the game level, upsetting Tuddrussel.

SFX: EXPLOSION 

TUDDRUSSEL  
Aww, dang! There goes my destructo shield!

Larry continues on chatting about the contents.

LARRY  
Oh, I see you took a field trip to Mount Rushmore.

OTTO  
We never actually went to the monument. Sister Thornly had us work in a nearby coal mine to earn extra money.

CUT TO:

BACK ON OTTO’S SCRAPBOOK 

The page has a picture of Otto and the other orphans looking miserable with coal dust on their faces with Sister Thornly looking smug with her wad of money in front of Mt. Rushmore.

LARRY (O.S.)  
(Cooing)  
Aww, how cute! Look at your little black faces!

OTTO (O.S.)   
She had us doing all sorts of odd jobs. 

Larry turns the page to see Otto terrified, washing windows high up on the empire state building.

OTTO (O.S.-CONT)  
Washing windows on the Empire State Building…

Turning the page, a picture of Otto trying to cut sugar cane.

OTTO (O.S.-CONT)  
Cutting sugar cane at Everglades National Park. . .

BACK TO LARRY  
LARRY  
(giggling)  
Oh! And look, you’re playing with the other children!

Larry is enthralled and continues on.

ON SCRAPBOOK

A picture of Otto being bullied, in the trash while someone spray painted his nickname, “SNOTTO.”

LARRY (O.S)  
‘Snotto’, that’s so cute!

BACK TO OTTO  
Otto is very un-amused. 

OTTO  
(spiteful)  
I HATED that nickname.

Otto blasts through Tuddrussel’s robot in the game with expert style. Tuddrussel pouts.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Ugh- this game is rigged!

Otto’s irritation turns to excitement, realizing that he’s about to beat his high score.

OTTO  
Hey, I’m coming up on my high score!

Otto franticly presses the control buttons and swerves it around like that’s going to help him win. 

OTTO  
Oh my gosh, I’m going to beat my high score!

 

CUT TO:

INT. THE VIDEO GAME- TV

Otto’s character is triumphantly blasting through Tuddrussel’s, with his life-line going out fast. But then suddenly, television screen goes out to black.

CUT TO:

INT. LIVING ROOM-CONTINUOUS  
Otto is horrified at the sight.

OTTO  
HEY!

Tuddrussel’s hand holds the television plug. He looks smug about the deed.

TUDDRUSSEL  
(fake innocence)  
Oops.

Furious, Otto walks up to Tuddrussel and begins ensuing a fight.

OTTO  
Ugh- Why’d ya do that for?

Tuddrussel finds this to be harmless fun.

TUDDRUSSEL  
What? I tripped.

OTTO  
You did that on purpose! A grown man, cheating an eight-year-old? That’s pathetic!

Tuddrussel takes offense and forgets whom he’s talking to.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Oh yeah? Well you’re just a…a snotto!

Before Otto has time to think, Tuddrussel grabs him and slams him into a nearby trashcan just like the bully in the picture.

OTTO  
HEY!

SFX: ALARM

The alarm goes off. Tuddrussel storms off to the control room. Larry follows, leaving Otto in the trash.

INT. CONTROL ROOM-DAY

The main computer pulls up George W. Bush, circa 2002. Larry and Tuddrussel look on with confusion as to whom this man is.

TUDDRUSSEL  
George W. Bush. Who the heck is that?

OTTO enters- covered in trash. 

OTTO  
Figure it out your self!

WIPE TO:

EXT/ESTAB. THE WHITE HOUSE, 2002-DAY  
INT. THE OVAL OFFICE- SAME

Surrounded by the cabinet and secret service, COLIN POWELL is discussing financial matters while GEORGE W. BUSH childishly draws with a crayon.

POWELL  
And as you can see here Mr. President, the new proposal should stimulate the economic growth well into the fiscal year.

Powell looks over and sees the President not even listening.

BUSH  
Yeah, thanks. That’s good but uhh- I was wondering how’s that, “Other thing”, coming along?

POWELL  
(Bewildered)  
O-Other thing?

BUSH  
That thing we talked about, you know. . .

Bush holds up a crude drawling of a giant squiggly ball and a stick figure.

BUSH (CONT)  
Giant ball o’ twine!

Powell struggles to tell Bush the facts about his idea.

POWELL  
Oh, right. THAT. Well, to be honest, Mr. President, Operation “Really big ball of twine” hasn’t exactly been a priority.

SFX- ELECTRIC SURGE

TIME SQUAD appears- disturbing everyone present.   
Tuddrussel and Otto continue to argue. 

TUDDRUSSEL  
Nerd!

OTTO  
Jerk!

They don’t notice the danger they have stumbled upon as the Secret Service become alert, taking out their guns ready to fire. Larry is the only one naturally worried.

SECRET SERVICE MAN  
Security breech! Code red!

They point their guns at them and Tuddrussel and Otto quickly see what’s happening and freeze up.

TUDDRUSSEL  
What the?

SECRET SEVICE MAN  
Don’t worry, Mr. President. We’ll have them eliminated right away.

But as the head of Secret Service pulls out his gun, Bush stops him.

BUSH  
Wait, did I hear a Texas accent?

Tuddrussel is happy to know someone recognized his Southern drawl.

TUDDRUSSEL  
You bet your sweet bippy you did!

BUSH  
Well, spank my butt and call me pinky, I’m from Texas, too!

The two come forward and like old friends they shake hands.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Buck Tuddrussel, glad to know ya!

BUSH  
George Dubya, welcome to the White House! I’m just getting briefed on my latest project. Building the world’s biggest big ball of twine!

Tuddrussel is very impressed.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Finally, a Politian with some ideas!

Otto becomes outraged.

OTTO  
Twine? What happened to Tax cuts for the rich? Subsidizing giant corporations?

Bush and Tuddrussel exchange a blank look.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Don’t listen to him, George. I think you’re on to something with this twine thing.

BUSH  
You know it! Come on, I wanna show you something.

 

Bush leads the Time Squad away from the office.

CAMERA ZOOMS IN We see through the Oval Office window a school bus with children lugging cheese onto the top of the bus.

CUT TO:

EXT. GOVERNMENT SURPLUS-DAY

Closer up on the children they are exhausted and poorly taken care of. We close in on one of the kids, JOHNNY, who’s stopping the production line to get a drink of water.

JOHNNY  
(ala chain gang prisoner)  
Getting a drink of water here, boss.

As Johnny puts the canteen to his mouth, a sinister crack of a whip clashes with his hand, he drops the canteen and YELPS. We pan over to the wielder of the whip and its none other than SISTER THORNLY.

THORNLY  
Not on MY watch, Johnny! This surplus government cheese isn’t going to load itself onto the bus! You kids want to eat, don’t cha?! Well, MOVE IT! 

Thornly cracks her whip, frightening the children into working faster.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. WAR ROOM- DAY 

Bush leads the guys into the War Room, now converted into the “Twine Room”, where balls of twine scatter through the area.   
BUSH  
Lookie here, boys.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Wow!

BUSH  
When the going gets tough, the American people need something to believe in. A symbol of strength and unity. So I asked myself, George Dubbya, what’s the ONE thing that brings all Americans together as one people?

Otto looks at him with disgust.

OTTO  
Uhh. . .twine?

BUSH  
(cheerfully oblivious)  
That’s right, partner! And that’s when I knew what the American people needed most, A giant ball of twine!

OTTO  
(pleading)  
Mr. President, Sir, you’re right, the people do need something to believe in, but not a ‘ball of twine’. They need to believe in their president. Don’t cha see? The American presidency is its own symbol in strength, power, and courage.

Confused and hurt, Bush holds up a twine ball as an offering.

BUSH  
But-but- twine?

OTTO  
(deadpan)  
Uhh. . .no.

 

Bush pouts.

BUSH  
Aww, I guess you’re right.

OTTO  
There you go!

Bush begins to cry.

BUSH  
Aww, dog-gone it! 

GEORGE BUSH SR. enters- comes to his aid.

BUSH SR.  
(Dana Carvey)  
Now come on, now. Not gonna cry, it wouldn’t be prudent, it wouldn’t be presidential.

The former president takes Bush Jr. away, leaving the Time Squad to talk. 

LARRY  
Nice work, Otto!

TUDDRUSSEL  
(condescending)  
Way to go, Brainiac. I like twine.

Otto gives an evil glare at Tuddrussel. He is officially done with the Officer's behavior.

OTTO  
You know what, Tuddrussel? Do what ever you want. 

Otto proceeds to storm off.

OTTO  
If you need me, I’ll be sight seeing!

Larry gives Tuddrussel an angry look.

LARRY  
Now look what you’ve done.

TUDDRUSSEL  
(Brushing it off)  
Ahh- big deal!

LARRY  
You need to go back there and apologize to him, I will not have you two acting so childish!

Tuddrussel pokes him in the chest.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Why don’t ya mind your own business, Lar? That pipsqueak can just cool off for a while.

BUSH enters- sobered up.

BUSH  
Say, boys, I’m awfully sorry about leaving you like that. How about I make it up to ya’?

Larry crosses his arms and eyes him with disgust.

LARRY  
How about no?

Tuddrussel elbows Larry to can it.

TUDDRUSSEL  
He’s only kiddin’ George. Sure, buddy, what ya’ got in mind?

Bush walks in between them and without meaning malice by it, nudges Larry out of the way.

BUSH  
I thought we should get out of town. I know a great steak house this side of Texas.

TUDDRUSSEL  
I like your style, man.

Larry chimes in

LARRY  
But what about Otto?

TUDDRUSSEL  
Would ya forget about Otto, for one second? Let’s just leave him here.

LARRY  
(outraged)  
We can’t just leave him by himself!

TUDDRUSSEL  
Sure we can, now I say- It’s go time!

Larry sighs in an exasperated tone.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. WASHINGTON D.C.- DAY

Johnny is strapping the cheese up on the roof of the bus with Sister Thornly looking on.

THORNLY  
Strap it on tight. If that cheese falls off, you starve! 

Meanwhile, Otto is taking pictures of the sites, not aware that Thornly is nearby.

OTTO  
Wow, the U.S. Mint!

SFX: CAMERA FLASH

Thornly hears that, and grows suspicious.

THORNLY  
That sounds like sight seeing racket. . .

Thornly looks over and sees it’s her runaway orphan and becomes enraged.

THORNLY (CONT)  
OTTO OSWORTH!

She rushes toward him. Otto looks over and panics.

OTTO  
(GASPS) It’s Sister Thornly!

Otto drops the camera and sprints off screen. But Thornly is much quicker and grabs him by the arm before he can escape. She drags him to the bus.

THORNLY  
Okay, Osworth, on the bus!

Otto gets tossed into the bus like a bowling ball and Sister Thornly quickly drives off. Otto is frazzled, realizing that he’s been kidnapped he runs to the back attempting to call out for help.

OTTO  
(frantic)  
No! Wait! help!

LARRY enters- now walking into the area where Otto was and the bus goes blindly past him.

LARRY  
Oh, where IS that boy. OTTO!

As Larry walks in the middle of the road a bright orange car (Ala Dukes of Hazzard) with rock n’ roll music blasting comes up behind him. Larry turns around and SCREAMS. The car hits him, sending him flying.

LARRY  
AHHHH!

The car reels, turning to face Larry it looks that the car is about to run him down again. Larry cowers as the car lunges forward but abruptly stops. Tuddrussel pops his head from the drivers side window.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Come on, we’re gonna go noodling!

Larry gets up and shakes his fist.

LARRY  
Ohhh! I ought noodle you, you idiot!

Bush pops his head out of the passenger side window.

BUSH   
Aww shucks, Larry, Buck’s only foolin’ around-

Larry interrupts.

LARRY  
And YOU are not helping! We can’t be goofing around here all day.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Geez, since when did you turn into Otto?

LARRY  
If you hadn’t pushed him away earlier he’d be here agreeing with me right now.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Well good riddance if you ask me. So, are you comin’ or not?

LARRY  
I’d rather rust.

Tuddrussel shrugs

TUDDRUSSEL  
Soot yourself.

Tuddrussel floors the General Lee leaving Larry in the dust. Larry looks on worried.

CUT TO:  
EXT.ORPHANAGE-DAY

Closing in on the orphanage, which hasn't changed since our last encounter, kids gawk in the window, pushing and shoving and standing on tip toe to try to see what’s about to go down.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. SISTER THORNLY’S OFFICE-DAY

Otto stands frightened at the towering figure of Sister Thornly who wields a ruler in her hand, tapping her hand menacingly with it.

SISTER THORNLY  
So, this is the thanks I get? I feed you, cloth you, put a roof over your head, give you an education, and you decided to just walk out?

Otto shakes his head in denial.

OTTO  
No! Please, I’m sorry, Sister Thornly! 

Thornly walks around Otto like a buzzard and questions him.

SISTER THORNLY  
Well maybe you can tell me where you’ve been all this time, hmm? You’ve been living with someone…

Otto struggles to look her with a calm face.

OTTO  
I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Sister Thornly SMACKS her ruler against her palm as a threat. Otto flinches. 

SISTER THORNLY  
You little brat! I will certainly have to remedy that attitude of yours!

Thornly grabs Otto by the collar of his shirt and pulls him up to her eye level.

OTTO  
(crying out in pain)  
Oww! No, mam! I’m sorry!

SISTER THORNLY  
Where have you been all this time?

OTTO  
(timidly.)  
I was adopted.

Thornly raises an eyebrow, looking skeptical. 

SISTER THORNLY  
(mockingly)  
Oh, you were, were you? Funny how nobody told me about it! Well who would want to adopt a bug-eyed thing like you? 

Otto squirms in her grasp. He becomes less afraid and more defiant.

OTTO  
Yes, I was adopted. And it just so happens that they’re both cops and they know all about you and this place and once they figure out I’m gone they’ll come looking for me.

THORNLY  
That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard out of your mouth! If they’re both cops then where were they? They just leave you alone unsupervised?

Otto shakes his head.

OTTO  
They couldn’t be with me cause they were with the president of the United States!

THORNLY  
The president? Goodness, I’d better take you back before I really get into trouble with the law!

Thornly DROPS Otto, he crashes hard to the floor.

OTTO  
Ouch!

Otto seethes in pain as she walks up to him. She points her ruler at him accusingly.

THORNLY (CONT)  
You are a liar, nobody is going to come for you here. Now get up, you lazy good for nothing!

Otto GASPS in terror as she rolls up her sleeves with ominous intentions of hurting him.

END OF ACT 1


	2. ACT 2

ACT 2

 

EXT./ESTAB. RURAL AREA-DAY

In the countryside Tuddrussel and Bush are wreaking havoc. They drive manically on the dirt road crashing into mail boxes and almost running over a old man.

INT. CAR- SAME

Tuddrussel is drinking a root beer and Bush has taken off his shirt and is wearing his tie like a head wrap.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Boy howdy, George, did ya’ see that old geezer jump?

BUSH  
I don’t think he’ll be getting out of bed for a while!

They laugh uproariously.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Man, this is the best time I’ve ever had since Fidel Castro’s New Years Party.

BUSH  
Naw, this is more fun than the time the pigs ate my little brother!

Tuddrussel glances at Bush, horrified.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Pigs ate your little brother?

DEAD silence.

BUSH  
Gotta ya!

They laugh uproariously once again.

CUT TO-

EXT. WASHINGTON D.C.- DAY  
Larry is tired, after looking for Otto for hours now he walks in front of the U.S. Mint. 

LARRY  
(fuming, talking to himself)  
Oooh, when I find Otto he’s going to get a stern talking to. And Tuddrussel, I’ll clobber him for leaving us both!

We hear a CLASH between metal and plastic as Larry kicks something. Surprised, Larry looks down, he discovers Otto’s camera.

LARRY  
What’s this?

Larry picks it up, and takes out the photo that was in the slot. It is a picture of Otto’s shoe and in the background a black figure reaching toward the camera.

LARRY  
Oh no. . .

CUT TO-  
INT. ORPHANAGE BATHROOM- DAY

Sister Thornly has put Otto to work scrubbing toilets.

THORNLY  
And make those potties shine!

Thornly presses the broken flusher, making the toilet overflow with water and leaves Otto alone to clean. Otto is horrified as he slowly starts plunging the toilet bowl.

CUT TO-

EXT. FARMLAND- NIGHT

Tuddrussel and Bush are sneaking around in the dark giggling to each other.

BUSH  
Shhh! Okay, Buck, it’s down here!

Pan over to the right a magnificent brick house rests on a hill. A sign reads “Cheney”. Tuddrussel and Bush go past it and up to the house. They look into the living room window and see DICK CHENEY in a big cowboy hat and his WIFE sitting opposite on the sofa watching tv. 

TUDDRUSSEL  
Oh, this is going to be great!

They move on to the back door and open it quietly. Tip-toeing through the kitchen and up the stairs they go into the first room they spot.

BUSH  
Now, you ready for the panty raid of your life?

TUDDRUSSEL  
Sure am!

They’re about to raid the chest drawers for underwear when Buck’s walkie-talkie buzzes in Larry. Tuddrussel and Bush freeze in horror. 

LARRY (O.S.)  
Tuddrussel! Where are you?

Angry, Tuddrussel picks up the device from his belt.

TUDDRUSSEL  
(Whispering, furious)  
Dang it, Lar, Were on a top secret mission!

LARRY (O.S.)  
I don’t care what you’re doing! Tuddrussel, Otto is-

TUDDRUSSEL  
I’ll call you back in a minute.

LARRY (O.S.)  
Listen to me, I think Otto has been kidna-

Tuddrussel cuts off Larry’s connection.

BUSH  
Wait, that sounded serious.

Tuddrussel thinks about it for a moment, but brushes it off. He nervously laughs at the idea.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Naw, I’m sure Larry’s just trying to get me to come back early. Now lets get back to business.

They start rummaging through the Vice President’s clothing. The boys don’t notice that the door is slowly opening. Dick Cheney pops out with a shotgun and points it at them.

CHENEY  
Hold it right there!

They freeze, turn around and quickly put their hands up.

BUSH  
Aww heck.

CHENEY  
Bush, you two-timin’ panty stealing dipstick! 

TUDDRUSSEL  
We're boned.

Tuddrussel grabs Bush, who’s got a wad of underwear, and they jump out of the window and make a run for it. 

CHENEY  
I'll get you for this!

Cheney starts shooting at them. Tuddrussel holds onto Bush under his arm as they excape into the distance. Cheney goes out side on the front porch and shakes his fist at them. He throws his cowboy hat on the floor and stomps it repeatedly. Tuddrussel reaches the car, drops Bush and they scamper into the car and Tuddrussel drives off like a bat out of hell.

INT. CAR-NIGHT

Tuddrussel and Bush laugh in relief.

BUSH  
Aww man, I’ve never seen Ol’ Man Cheney so mad!

TUDDRUSSEL  
That was a close one! Oh, lets see your loot! 

Bush lifts the clothing, a huge pair of tighty-whites is revealed. 

BUSH  
Huh? This ain’t right.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Shoot, George, didn’t ya notice that you was grabbin’ some dude’s underwear?

BUSH  
Aww, I’m so embarrassed. This never happened to be before. 

Tuddrussel rolls his eyes, resides to try to concentrate on driving.

INT. ORPHANAGE- NIGHT

Otto scrubs the hallway floors. Miserable, he doesn’t notice his old bully, RANDALL come up to him. Randall kicks the bucket of water on Otto. 

OTTO  
Ooh- Hey! 

RANDALL pushes him to the floor.

RANDALL  
Why don’t ya’ cry about it, Snotto?

Otto glares at him. 

OTTO  
Why don’t cha go play on the freeway?

RANDALL smiles, and picks Otto off the floor by the collar of his shirt. 

OTTO (CONT)  
No, lemme go, Randall!

RANDALL  
Heh heh heh! Whatever you say!

Randall throws him roughly back down. Otto lands with a big SPLASH

RANDALL (CONT)  
You better clean this mess up before Thornly kicks your butt again! (LAUGHS)  
The bully walks away leaving Otto to reside sitting in the dirty water. 

OTTO  
(in despair)  
I wanna go home! I wish I’d never ran off. (sighs) Tuddrussel’s probably glad I’m gone.

CUT TO:  
EXT. RURAL AREA- NIGHT

Tuddrussel and Bush are out near a lake resting on the car. They’re laughing as Tudd tells of his adventures.

TUDDRUSSEL  
And then as we tried to get Larry to stop party planning ol’ Davy Crockett hauls us into the slammer! Boy, if Otto hadn’t thought to trick the guy into wearing the straightjacket we would have been goners as soon as Santa Anna’s troops rolled in.

BUSH  
Wow! Your kid came up with all that?

Tuddrussel smiles with pride.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Sure, Otto is always coming up with some kind of plan to get us out of a scrape. He’s what keeps us from getting fired I reckon. He’s a good kid…

Tuddrussel drops the smile and looks fearful. Bush puts a hand on Tuddrussel’s shoulder for comfort.

BUSH  
Something eatin’ you? 

Tuddrussel fiddles with the toothpick in his mouth in thought. He throws it away.

TUDDRUSSEL  
I don’t know. I guess I’m just thinkin’ over what happened today.

Bush shoots a perplexed look to Tuddrussel.

BUSH  
But I thought we were having a great time.

TUDDRUSSEL.  
It’s not about that. 

Tuddrussel sighs deeply again.

TUDDRUSSEL  
I just feel guilty, is all. I left my partners back in D.C. and they’re both pretty sore at me. Especially Otto.

BUSH  
Is that right?

TUDDRUSSEL  
Yeah, and boy did I screw up.

BUSH  
Aww, well what’d ya do to get him mad at you in the first place?

TUDDRUSSEL  
Well first I unplugged the tv during the video game we were playing.

Even Bush feels offended

BUSH  
Dude, not cool. I’d be mad at you too.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Yeah, yeah. Don’t rub it in. And then things just got worse. I just kept pushing him, then he went off on his own and then Larry got mad…I just shot my self in the foot.

Tuddrussel bitterly laughs.

TUDDRUSSEL (CONT)  
And then Larry tried to tell me something about Otto earlier during the raid. And what do I do? I shut him out. I’m starting to get this sense that something bad is happening.

George faintly smiles and sits up.

 

BUSH  
Well, what are we waiting for? As a father and husband I know what it’s like when your family gets split up during a fight.

Tuddrussel shoots a confused look.

TUDDRUSSEL  
What are you tryin’ to say?

Bush waves it off.

BUSH  
Just listen for second. You gotta make amends with your partners, right now. Whether they’re your family, or friends, or complete strangers, its our duty to take care of each other and repair the damage when its been done. 

Tuddrussel smiles, and gets off the car.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Well, what are we waiting for then? It’s go time! 

The two men get into the car start to drive off.

INT. CAR-SAME

Tuddrussel takes out the walkee-talkee and turns it back on while holding on to the stering wheel.

CUT TO:

EXT. WASHINGTON D.C.-NIGHT

Larry is sitting outside of a café looking worried sick. 

TUDDRUSSEL (O.S.)  
Larry?

Larry picks up Tuddrussel’s voice from his internal phone.

LARRY  
(furious)  
Oh NOW you decide to answer me! Tuddrussel I swear that when I find you I’ll wring that thick neck of yours!

CUT TO:

INT.CAR- NIGHT

Tuddrussel cringes at Larry’s tone as he drives manically back to D.C. 

TUDDRUSSEL  
I’ll worry about that later. But are you okay? Is Otto okay?

Beat- uncomfortable silence. 

TUDDRUSSEL (CONT)  
(concerned)  
Larry?

LARRY (O.S.)  
He’s not in Washington, Tuddrussel. I’m at my wits end here! I just know something terrible has happened!

Tuddrussel gulps, visably scared about Otto’s safety.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Okay, you just hang on there, were on our way back. We’ll find him.

LARRY (O.S.)  
Please hurry!

TUDDRUSSEL  
We will, buddy.

END OF ACT 2


	3. ACT 3

ACT 3

INT. ORPHANAGE LIVING ROOM- NIGHT.  
Otto is exhausted from the day’s labor. He stands in front of Sister Thornly.

OTTO  
(weary)  
I did everything like you said.

Thornly raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

SISTER THORNLY  
I’d inspect the floors but I don’t feel like bothering with it. Just go to bed.

Otto relaxes, starts walking toward the stairs.

SISTER THORNLY (CONT)  
And Osworth…

Otto stops, looks at Thornly with attention.

THORNLY (CONT)  
Don’t think you can pull a fast one again. I’ve got my eyes and ears on you. If I even hear ONE sound come from your room you’ll be punished for it. 

OTTO  
(gulps) Yes, mam.

 

EXT. WHITE HOUSE- NIGHT.  
Larry stands under a street light waiting. He turns and sees a car coming up the road, pulling to a screeching halt. Tuddrussel and Bush get out of the car.

LARRY  
Thank heavens you’re here!

Tuddrussel walks up to Larry, the robot hugs him out of desperation. Buck while visibly uncomfortable accepts the hug and holds onto Larry.

TUDDRUSSEL  
I’m sorry, Larry. But don’t you worry anymore, we’ll find him.

Larry lets go of Tuddrussel and pulls out the camera and photo.

LARRY  
I found this, I think Otto dropped the camera and it accidently went off. But luckily it captured a clue.

Tuddrussel takes the photo and scratches his head.

TUDDRUSSEL  
What am I supposed to be looking at here?

Larry growls, snatches the photo back.

LARRY  
It means I think I have an idea who kidnapped Otto!

Bush walks in between them, outraged.

BUSH  
Wait a minute, you’re saying that this boy of yours was kidnapped? Well we have got to do something about it!

LARRY  
Well there’s no time to lose, I’ve seen this figure before, I believe that Otto had a run in with Sister Thornly.

Tuddrussel pops his knuckles.

TUDDRUSSEL  
I once told you and Sheila after taking on Mother Theresa that it wouldn’t be the last time I would punch out a nun. 

CUT TO:  
INT. THE ORPHANAGE-OTTO’S BEDROOM-NIGHT  
Otto walks into his old bedroom and climbs onto the bed and lays down and covers his face with the pillow, a soft SIGH is heard. A flash of light is seen through his window, he doesn’t notice.

EXT. ORPHANAGE- SAME  
Tuddrussel, Larry, and Bush have transported to the front lawn of the orphanage. 

LARRY  
How are we going to get him out of there?

TUDDRUSSEL  
Break down the front door, of course!

BUSH  
Now guys, I can get a SWAT team into this in a matter of seconds if you’d let me.

Larry scoffs at both of them.

LARRY  
What kind of game do you think this is? This calls for diplomatic measures. Maybe if we just go in and explain…

Tuddrussel interrupts 

TUDDRUSSEL  
Explain what? That we stole Otto first? And no take backsies? 

LARRY  
No! 

Bush shoots a confused look.

BUSH  
You stole Otto first? I thought he was adopted?

Tuddrussel and Larry eye each other.

TUDDRUSSEL  
It was a mutual agreement to liberate him.

CUT TO:  
INT.OTTO’S BEDROOM-CONTINUOUS  
Otto starts hearing the muffled yelling coming from outside. He lifts his head, and looks up to the window. Audible voices of Tuddrussel and Larry is made clearer and Otto GASPS in shock. 

OTTO  
They came back! I can’t believe it!

Otto jumps off the bed and scoots some boxes over to the window. He haphazardly climbs up to the top, holds on to the railing of the window and jerks the window open.  
From Otto’s POV, we see Larry, Tuddrussel and Bush yelling at each other. 

OTTO  
Larry! Tuddrussel!

EXT. ORPHANAGE  
The guys are too busy arguing to hear Otto’s call. 

LARRY  
Will you be quiet, you buffoon! Do you want to wake up the whole neighborhood?

Tuddrussel shakes his fist.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Got-dangit, Lar, let’s just pick him out of this rat trap and get out of here!

OTTO (O.S.)  
Guys! I’m in here! Help me!

Bush looks over and is shocked to see Otto’s hands grasping for them from the basement window. 

BUSH  
Hey, check it out, I think Otto’s right over there!

Larry and Tuddrussel look over and see where Bush is pointing to. Otto gasps for joy at the sight and waves ecstatically. 

OTTO  
Oh! Oh! Tuddrussel, Larry, over here! Please Come quick!

Tuddrussel freaks, running over to the window first. He grabs Otto’s hand. 

TUDDRUSSEL  
How in tarnation did you get yourself back here?

Larry and Bush come forward and kneel down at the window.

LARRY  
Oh Otto! Thank heavens we’ve found you!

BUSH  
You alright, kid?

Otto looks at the men with desperation. 

OTTO  
(trembling)  
I’m okay, but please get me out of here.

LARRY  
Don’t you fear any longer, we’re here now and well have you out immediately.

CUT TO:  
INT. ORPHANAGE HALLWAY-SAME

Sister Thornly has heard the commotion downstairs.

SISTER THORNLY  
They just never learn…

Thornly curses under her breath and heads toward the yelling.

CUT TO:  
INT. OTTO’S BEDROOM  
Otto doesn’t notice the footsteps stomping above him. 

OTTO  
But how did you guys find me?

Larry pulls out the camera.

LARRY  
Funny you should ask, luckily you dropped this and it took a picture of Sister Thornly.

Camera shifts POV to Thornly who opens the door to see Otto sitting on top of the boxes talking. It’s not clear to her to who he’s talking with. 

OTTO  
I’m so glad to see you guys…

Thornly grabs Otto, covering his mouth as he screams she steals him away from the scene in a second.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Otto?!

They look in to see Otto holding onto the door frame in desperation, holding out a hand to reach for Larry and Tudd.

OTTO  
Tuddrussel! Don’t let her take me!

Thornly jerks Otto roughly to make him CRY OUT and let go of the frame, Tuddrussel becomes furious at the sight, taking out his phaser.

TUDDRUSSEL  
If she even touches a hair on him I’ll blast her. Hold on, kid!

Tuddrussel shoots the window, making a big gaping hole into the wall. Tuddrussel jumps down into the room, looks around for them. But Otto and Thornly are nowhere to be seen. Larry tries to climb down to the floor and falls.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Great, she’s run off with him. Come on, Larry. Stop foolin’ around.

Tuddrussel runs after Otto and leaves Larry. The robot wobbles around, short-circuiting for a brief second. Bush gets down with no problem.

BUSH  
Say, partner, are you okay?

LARRY  
(drunk)  
I’m okay to go to the ball Senator Fiskmeyer, just let me find my purse…

CUT TO:

INT.ORPHANAGE HALLWAY-NIGHT  
Thornly is storming down the hall with Otto in tow.

THORNLY  
How dare you try to escape when I told you what would happen, (fuming) Ooh- when I get a chance I’m going to make you so wish that you were never born, Osworth! Who were those people?

Otto hurries to catch up with her as she drags him by the arm. He defiantly looks at her.

OTTO  
(firmly) My family. (beat) And for some reason, President Bush.

Thornly rolls her eyes.

THORNLY  
Now if you’re lying, you’re dying. 

INT. OFFICE  
They enter the drab office. Thornly pushes Otto into an open closet.

THORNLY  
Once I’ve gotten rid of them I’ll deal with you.

Otto stomps his foot in protest.

OTTO  
You can’t do this to me!

Thornly slams the door and quickly locks it. Otto is alone in the dark, horrified he rattles the door knob and hits the door.

OTTO  
Lemme out! You’re gonna be in so much trouble!

Thornly looks satisfied with herself. She goes to her desk and opens a drawer, pulls out a gun.

THORNLY  
Can it, Osworth. 

INT. CLOSET  
Otto looks through the key hole and sees the gun in her hand, he GASPS, worried for what’s about to happen he grows determined to let himself free.

OTTO  
(to himself)  
I gotta get out of here.

Otto struggles to break the door. Sticking both feet up on the door, he suspends above the floor as he pulls on the handle desperately.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT.ORPHANAGE LIVING ROOM- NIGHT  
TUDDRUSSEL enters- scratching his head in thought.  
LARRY and BUSH enter behind him.

LARRY  
Well? You find them yet?

Tuddrussel shakes his head, waving his hand over it and DIVE BOMB WHISTLES.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Nope. I’m ready to just tear gas this whole place to just chase everyone out.

Bush puts his hands on hips, visibly irritated at the state of this whole mess. 

BUSH  
Well I don’t know about you fellers, but I’m calling the authorities on this one.

Larry scoffs.

LARRY  
Oh please, that will only make things worse for us.

THORNLY enters- holds her ground with the gun.

THORNLY  
I’d listen to him if I were you.

Larry, Tuddrussel, and Bush jump, surprised to see her. Tuddrussel pulls out his phaser and gets in front to shield both Larry and Bush who cower in fear.

TUDDRUSSEL  
So you finally decided to come out

Tuddrussel looks around.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Where’s Otto?

THORNLY  
I hardly think it’s any of your business. Now get out, before I decide to fill you full of lead.

TUDDRUSSEL  
You don’t scare me, lady. Now hand over the kid before I make it my official police duty to kick your butt clear to Mexico.

Thornly smirks, unmoved by the threat she moves closer to Tuddrussel.

THORNLY  
Otto mentioned something about you being a police officer, I’m not sure who’s a bigger liar, him or you?

Tuddrussel gives her a dirty look.

TUDDRUSSEL  
You callin’ him a liar? 

THORNLY  
So what if I am? You don’t fool me with that get-up you’ve got on. Do you patrol the circus?

TUDDRUSSEL  
All right, that’s enough out of you. If you don’t give me Otto in five seconds I’m gonna-

Thornly interrupts

THORNLY  
What do you want with him anyway? 

Thornly cocks her gun.

THORNLY  
You don’t even know how to raise a child, do you? 

Tuddrussel squirms at the question.

TUDDRUSSEL  
No. (flustered) But so what? It’s not like you deserve a metal or anything for your efforts. And I, well, WE need him, he's apart of our team and he's not staying with you ever again.

CUT TO:  
INT. CLOSET-SAME  
Otto rummages around in a box holding on to a flashlight looking for something useful. 

PICKS UP  
A baseball- promptly tosses it over.

PICKS UP  
A locket- puts it gently down.

PICKS UP  
A paddle- Otto cringes, drops it.

PICKS UP  
A nail file- Otto lights up in excitement. 

Otto takes the nail file and shoves it into the key hole. He moves it around, a CLICK is heard and Otto successfully opens the door and escapes. 

INT.LIVING ROOM-CONTINUOUS  
Otto ENTERS quietly, he sees the standoff between Tuddrussel and Thornly and is shocked. Thornly notices that Otto is present and HUFFS angrily.

THORNLY  
How did you get out?

Tuddrussel looks over and sees Otto.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Come on, Otto, were leaving.

Otto timidly walks over to Tuddrussel. Thornly points the gun at Otto.

THORNLY  
You’re not going anywhere. 

Larry comes forward and gets in front of Otto.

LARRY  
Don’t you point that gun at him!

Thornly shoots, Otto jumps into Larry’s arms, they both SCREAM. Tuddrussel looks, seeing the smoke coming from the floor where Otto had been standing.

LARRY  
You crazy old buzzard!

Bush flips open his phone and dials the police, walking away from the scene.

BUSH  
She's in big trouble now...

Tuddrussel becomes enraged, glaring at her.

TUDDRUSSEL  
(seething)  
That does it.

Tuddrussel aims his phaser and shoots at the gun, knocking it out of her hand. Thornly GASPS, and backs away slowly.

THORNLY  
Stay back!

TUDDRUSSEL  
Someone needs to beat some sense into you, see how you like it.

Otto holds onto Larry, both terrified at what’s about to happen.

OTTO  
Oh my gosh!

LARRY  
Oh! should we help him?

Otto hops off of Larry and straightens himself out.

OTTO  
I think Tuddrussel’s got this.

Tuddrussel gives chase to Thornly, who heads out the door, Tuddrussel jumps and proceeds to pin her to the ground.

FOCUS ON LARRY AND OTTO at the door we watch their faces wince at the pain and light up in victory as we hear the SCREAMS and PUNCHES off screen. 

TUDDRUSSEL (O.S.)  
Where do think you’re going?

 

SFX: ELECTICITY 

We see flashing lights and it’s clear that Tuddrussel electrocuted Thornly with the taser. Larry and Otto look at each other disturbed. Tuddrussel comes back to the front and looks victorious. Otto rushes to hug him.

OTTO  
Tuddrussel, thanks for coming to rescue me.

Tuddrussel smiles, pats Otto on the head.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Yeah, well, I wasn’t going to stand by and let her keep ya now.

Otto looks up.

OTTO  
And I’m sorry that I got mad at you, I’ll be good from now on and I’ll let you win at video games and I’ll let you steal my dessert for the rest of my life, promise.

Tuddrussel gushes.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Aww, kid- I’m sorry too.

SFX: POLICE SIRENS

The Time Squad panics, not wanting to be seen by the police they quickly get inside.

IN LIVING ROOM

LARRY  
Ugh- let’s get out of here before the cops come in here and ask us questions

Tuddrussel looks around for George.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Aww great, where did George go?

OTTO  
(calling out)  
Mr. President, sir? We’ve got to go now!

BUSH enters- carrying a file with papers inside.

BUSH  
Good, the police arrived, now we can just-

Larry interrupts

LARRY  
No time! Let’s go and get you back to the White House!

Tuddrussel grabs Bush and pulls him into the group. Larry types in the coordinates to leave and they quickly disappear as Sister Thornly opens the door with the police behind her. All that’s seen is the black smoke on the floor. 

WIPE TO:  
INT. WHITE HOUSE-OVAL OFFICE-NIGHT  
TIME SQUAD enters- Bush whirls around dizzy from the ride.

BUSH  
Now, like I was trying to say back there, I’ve got a few things I want to discuss.

Tuddrussel frowns

TUDDRUSSEL  
About what?

Bush pats Tuddrussel’s arm.

BUSH  
Aww, nothin’ serious, partner. I’ve got some good news for ya’ll!

Bush smiles down at Otto and hands him the file.

BUSH (CONT)  
Say, Otto, how’s about you look over this?

Otto opens it and proceeds to read. Otto’s pupils expand with shock.

OTTO  
(Overwhelmed)  
But-but wait a second, how is this possible?

Larry pulls the file from Otto and looks at it.

LARRY  
What’s going on?

Otto looks confused.

OTTO  
I’m. . .officially adopted?

Larry flips through the papers, skimming through them quickly. Tuddrussel tries to read over Larry’s shoulder.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Adopted? Like as in...Otto’s now ours?

Bush looks satisfied.

BUSH  
After I called an anonymous tip to the police I made a few arrangements to make sure that Otto is legally yours according to United States law in the 21st century, bending a few rules of course. I also had his records faxed in, it’s all in there.

Larry and Tuddrussel are both stunned.  
LARRY  
(grateful)  
Why, George, that’s so nice of you. Thank you.

BUSH  
Not a problem, Larry. I’m just glad that I could help.

Otto shows that he’s about to cry.

BUSH  
Hey, kid, aren’t you excited?

Otto smiles, he wipes a tear away.

OTTO  
I’m sorry. It’s just that, I can’t believe it! This is the best thing I could ever hope for.

He runs up to Bush and hugs his legs.

OTTO  
Thank you, Mr. President! 

Tuddrussel walks up to Bush and Otto.

TUDDRUSSEL  
George, you crazy son of a gun, I don’t know how we could ever repay you.

George waves it off.

BUSH  
Don’t sweat it, Buck. Just do me a favor and don’t tell anyone this,

George leans in on Tuddrussel and Otto, proceeding to tell them a secret.

BUSH  
I don’t want none of this turning into one of those “government conspiracies” like the Apollo moon landing or Abraham Lincoln’s hypnotic third eye.

Otto shoots a bemused look to the audience. Tuddrussel LAUGHS. 

TUDDRUSSEL  
You got yourself a deal. 

Larry looks at the time on his computer.

LARRY  
I’m sorry to be the one to break up this joyous occasion, but it’s getting awfully late.

Tuddrussel pouts.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Aww- but I wanna stay with George.

Larry raises an eyebrow.

LARRY  
No.

Otto grabs ahold of Tuddrussel’s hand and tries to pull him over to Larry.

OTTO  
Come on, Tuddrussel! We can’t stay here forever.

Tuddrussel SIGHS.

TUDDRUSSEL  
Yeah, yeah, I know. But we were having so much fun.

George frowns, waves goodbye.

BUSH  
I’m gonna miss you, Buck. Take care now.

Tuddrussel waves back as Larry begins to set for home.

TUDDRUSSEL  
So long, pal. Thanks for everything. And tell Cheney, “No hard feelings.”

TIME SQUAD-exits.

FADE OUT

 

THE END


End file.
